Connecting With Baby Before Birth

When my daughter was born, it was like reconnecting with a long lost, childhood friend. You know… that one friend who was like a sister to you growing up and remained your best friend your entire life? Like that. It was actually like I already knew this person and was ready to pick up right where we left off.

I truly believe she is a part of my soul family and that I have known her for a lot longer than I can imagine. Maybe she really was my best friend in a past life… or my sibling, or my spouse…  and the thought alone makes me all giddy inside, but what if it was just the time I took to get to know her while she was growing inside me that made our relationship so  familiar once she was in my arms?

Some of you might be thinking,”You’re growing a human inside of you! Of course you feel connected.” I am telling you, there’s a whole other level to building a relationship with your unborn child than what most would even think to consider. You can spiritually, emotionally, and energetically connect with your daughter/son before ever knowing what they look like.

If you are a spiritual person like me, the soul is the most real version of a “person” that there is. The physical body is just our third dimensional shell given to us to explore ourselves as such. To me, seeing my daughter was not the “ah-ha moment” I needed to realize there was a real person in there that whole time. I didn’t need to wait for her to be born to get to know her. I started getting to know her soul before I could even feel her move inside me. Hell, I started my relationship with her YEARS before I even met my husband!

As I have briefly let on, I absolutely believe in reincarnation. Our souls are energy that can’t be erased, only released. So from one lifetime to the next, we, as consciousness, go about expressing ourselves in different forms and realities, so that we can learn all the greatest lessons and virtues we need to understand ourselves fully. To experience what we, as spirit, would not be able to experience without the third dimensional plane. To understand and feel emotions that we, as spirit, would not be able to understand or feel, and to learn to control them. To learn to control our physical bodies, to have free will, and to enjoy the outlet through which we can use our creative energy. Ultimately, to learn and experience LOVE. Love is truly all that matters and all that there is.


My FAVORITE thing to do ever since I was in grade school was swing at the park and listen to music. Alone, preferably, and at night. As you can imagine my mother was not too happy about this, but to me it was exactly what made me the happiest! All throughout my teenage years, right up until I met my husband when I was twenty, I would sneak out at night just to  go swing and listen to my music. What I was REALLY doing that entire time, before I even knew that I was doing it, was manifesting and visualizing everything in my life. Every relationship I had, every relationship I wanted to have, every scenario at school and everything in between. You know girls, we think and over-analyze all there is to think and analyze! I just always felt my happiest and free-est when I was up in the cool-crisp air, with no one but my thoughts to entertain me, staring at the beautiful night sky, and I’ll tell you what… I ALWAYS felt so energized after that! I was always prepared for what was to come the next day at school, or how to deal with a stressful situation that I was anxious about. In fact, if I wasn’t able to go to the park, I would cry! I have gotten in one too many fights with my mother over such, my poor mom.


As I became more and more spiritually awakened, my nights swinging became so much more meaningful to me. I knew that while I was there I was creating constantly with every thought and manifesting my wildest dreams into reality. I would meditate in the grass as I watched the moon rise higher in the sky. I had so many beautiful, profound moments and epiphanies just staring into space, realizing how small I truly am, that really opened my heart and soul. I could feel the Earth and the moon’s energy as swung in between their atmosphere. I always wondered if there were any others out there who had discovered this amazing secret and were addicted to it just like I was!

You better believe I would think of my future children. I always knew that I was meant to be a mom. I could feel the love I had for them pouring out of me. I would tell them of the mom I plan to be. I would discuss the lessons I have learned from my own parents and how I would apply that to my parenting, taking from the good and learning from the bad. I would let them know that they are already enormously loved, and very real to me. I knew they were there, all around me, waiting for the perfect time to enter my life, and that they were absolutely 100% worth waiting for. Maybe they were guiding me, maybe they were guiding David, and then one day they would lead us to each other. I remember one night I was getting ready to go out with friends for the first time in a long time, and as I was doing my makeup in the mirror I looked myself right in the eyes, and as if I was face to face with my higher self I told her I was ready to meet my soul mate and I was open to receiving the right kind of love this time. (I had spent a year recovering from a long, toxic relationship and wasn’t very social. I chose to spend that time loving myself and healing myself from the inside out, meaning LOTS of swinging!) Later that night, I met David! Within 24 hours he asked me to marry him. Jokingly, but still!


Fast forward a year and we are married, living on the other side of the country and expecting our first child! I believe our fairy-tale, whirlwind relationship has been as such because of the enormous energy between us, compelling us to give each other our all. We felt like since our first few hangouts that we were soul mates. He never believed in such a phenomenon prior to us meeting but he said he felt it was eerily true with us. Our relationship was so spectacular it was like we were only characters in a Nicholas Sparks novel. In fact, we use to talk all the time about how we seriously needed to write about our love story. We would sit in my car, at the top of a hill outside a million dollar home being built, fantasizing (and visualizing!) it being ours one day, staring at the stars in the night sky, hashing over exactly how this novel would be written. Guaranteed it would be a New York Time’s Best Seller turned feature presentation! Okay, enough bragging about my relationship… I can’t help but reminiscence. However, I would like emphasize the importance of the manifesting that was happening there and encourage you to try it in your life!

Coming full circle and the reason why I took you down memory lane in the first place is because now that I was pregnant with this dream boat I manifested into my reality, I was getting to know this baby in a physical/spiritual kind of way now. I remember holding my belly and telling it, “I don’t care if you want to be a boy. Don’t feel like you have to be a girl just because I have issues with men.” and all of my other irrational fears I had transitioning into motherhood. I know that by that time its gender was already established but I wasn’t going to know for several weeks. I wanted to clear the energetic air anyway, I found it rather comforting in my time of need.

I especially bonded with her when I was taking a shower and laying in bed at night. Those quiet alone times really helped me to visualize and connect with her. I wasn’t sure if she was inside her body quite yet or still just energetically hanging around, but I made a point to speak to her soul and not just the body that I was preparing for her inside me. I know that that can be hard to do, because the little baby is what you are picturing in your arms and you spend all day visualizing what she will look like, but I tried to do that with the feeling I got from her soul, her energy, and the love that I had for her. I’m a very open-minded when it comes to spirituality so I like to say that I don’t have a 100% firm belief how it all plays out exactly, so the point in time in which the spirit enters the body is purely up to speculation with me. There are theories that it enters at the time of movement, that it comes and goes freely throughout the entire pregnancy, or that it enters at the time of birth, hence, natal charts and the zodiac, so to me that knowledge was irrelevant when it came to connecting with my daughter. As long as I was sending my thoughts and energy to her soul, it would find her regardless.

I was quite intuitively connected throughout my pregnancy with her. I knew she was a girl, I knew she would be born early, and I knew she was going to have my dimples. I worked right up until she was born, taking a week before he due date off just to be ready for her early arrival. I knew from the moment I woke up that day that she was going to be born. The very minuscule contractions that could have been easily mistaken for Braxton Hicks and false labor were evident to me that I was meeting my daughter THAT day. When her father, the first Earth-side being to lay hands on her, handed her to me, all I could say in between my tears and trying to catch my breath was, “my baby, my baby, my baby” as in, “my love, my other piece, my soul mate… OH HOW I HAVE WAITED MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR YOU!!!”


And so with that, I wish for you to know your unborn child on a soul level. I encourage you to bond with them even if you aren’t currently expecting or in a relationship. If you know you want to have children, visualize them, love them, bond with them… manifest them! They are there. Chances are you might be more connected to them than you think.

I also strongly believe you can connect with those you have lost to miscarriage, still birth, or any other situation that has prevented you from having your children with you today. Sometimes, all it takes is a little believing in the unseen, and little love power to heal you in a tremendous way.

I would like to take this time to wish you all a happy and healthy journey into motherhood, whether it’s years from now, you are currently expecting, or are trying to conceive. You all are beautiful souls and will make fantastic, mindful mothers.

Love and light to you all,

Jill Diefenderfer

If you are interested, I kept a video journal of my pregnancy with my daughter, Melody, and recorded my labor and delivery with her for others to see. You can find them here, on YouTube.

Direct link to birth vlog: Welcome Melody Lee Dief


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